For too long I thought I was wrong or something was wrong with me
for lacking a particular gene, an air about me, an impetus to follow along to function in this society.
For too long I pressed down on myself, for thinking and feeling differently than the masses
but something in me would not budge to conform, to contortionize myself into the cookie cutter that has been there waiting for me for when I am ready for my soul to be broken and be made unrecognizable by fitting into the mold. Even though I feel like I am already dying here, I at least have my soul in my possession...
and perhaps I suffered much as a consequence of being in the outskirts...
I've been hiding behind the curtains pacing, stifling my voice, and have belonged nowhere, just surviving day by day.
but then some souls that my DNA remembers from previous lifetimes sent me reminders in clever ways...
they echoed a resonance of my actual sanity and spiritual health
I came to my senses and can stand in my choice, my voice of
no i don't want to participate in something I don't believe in
no I don't want to harm another life to get ahead
no i don't believe in your philosophy, infrastructure and destructive rituals
no I don't want to be force fed your propaganda brainwashing programming
A contemporary reminded me the value of being grounded, authentic to who you are at the core of your spirit, to speak from that place of knowing from the depths of the heart & soul, that one is to heal and cleanse from the polluting energies that poison our sense of worth, freedom, and true sovereignty.
It can be easy to be swayed by the trance, we often need those calls, those reminders to wake up, to not let our senses be continuously dulled, that our life saver doesn't mean a flotation device but an anchor that plunges us deeply into the spiritual matrix, the roots of our hearts and souls. Yes, I want to leave a legacy of feather-weight for the generations to come.
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